A piece of my mind on friendships

I am writing this through experiences.. oh that is so cliche. but yeah, ape2 je la coz it is sadly true. This comes a tough lesson, and unfortunately it seems, you only learn this by living, television doesn’t teach it, schools don’t teach it, and if you’re above a certain age, our parents didn’t teach it. You have to learn it by living, by thinking of someone as a friend, only to find out they don’t think of you as a friend. It can be devastating, I know, I’ve been there myself. But all the wishing, all the manipulation, all the determination, just serves to push the would-be friend further away. Because friendship is something you choose to do, you don’t do it out of a sense of obligation. To force someone to be a friend is to not have a friend. 

I learned that a friend is someone I trust to be with me when I am at my weakest and most vulnerable. And they are people who, no matter how painful it is to see, are willing to be with me when I am so helpless and weak. If I would trust my life with you, and vice versa, we are friends. It’s not about whether you are trustworthy, or whether you are friendly, it’s the actual act of trust that is the basis of friendship. If I trust you to be truthful, then you’re a friend. If I find I must be careful how I say things, then it’s something other than friendship. 

Friendship is not a state of mind, it’s an act. It’s something you do, it’s not about whether you’re good or not, it’s not a reflection of you, it’s a balanced relationship between people. That doesn’t mean it’s always balanced at every moment. Sometimes you “need a friend” and other times it’s the other way. It’s a trust that’s returned.

One thing I feel needs to be said is that there are many other relationships that aren’t friendship that are still positive. There are many people I admire who aren’t friends. I work with lots of people who aren’t friends. In fact, I often think it’s a bad idea to work with your friends (more on that another time).

So yeah, another major point that i realized is that, world isn’t divided into two parts — friends and enemies. I choose to think of FRIEND as a very strong word, representing a very close relationship. I think this may be in part due to what I do, because I need a good solid line separating my LIFE from my personal. A friend is a personal relationship. I like and admire many people who I don’t consider friends.

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hello people :)

 

So…I hardly ever do blogs…but maybe its just the mood I’m in this morning. Reflection is the word of the day it seems. 

 

Strange, how much a persons life can change in year. Strange, how no matter how much you think you have grown…something always happens to make you realize you’ve got some more growing up to do. Strange, how love isn’t enough anymore. Sadly, that there are very few people in this world a person can trust. Even more sad is saying good-bye…not knowing whats gonna happen in a few years coming. where you gonna be…where they’re gonna be…could you end up together in the end? or is life choosing different paths for you both? Hard not to have all your questions answered. Hard not to know if you can believe the answers you do have. Even harder to be the one wanting to believe…while a whole world thinks your dumb for trusting and giving hope to someone who doesn’t deserve it. Aren’t we supposed to believe in the good of other people? But does that mean we have to trust them? Is it better to live a life guarded, always expecting the worst from others? Or to keep falling, praying, and hoping that your not a fool for believing? A true test of character is to see how you act, and what you do, when life gets tough. Do you bury your head in the pillow? Or do you pick your self up…dust your self off…and move the hell on, keep it on going. Somewhere in all of us…there’s an inner strength. It keeps us from breaking, from giving up, from crying too much, from hating… Now it looks as if my strength will be tested again…a test that isn’t going away for at least the next years coming… but I’ll do my best. I’ll make it in the end. i have people that i can trusts!…my life will move forward….and i can either drag my feet…or put my 3 inches sexy stillettos on and my big ass.muahmuahmuah lotsa lotsa LOVE.

 

 

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